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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Captured

I was crying okay? There were tears. It wasn't visible though. >_>


Video project for Photo and Video Journalism. Had so much fun filming it with my buds Mads, Lola, and John and later on editing it with Mads at home.

Also, thanks to the people who helped us. If they're reading this, they would know who they are. :P

This was our very first time doing this, we were new in using the camera and we weren't listening during the discussion so we didn't know how to tinker with the white balance. :\ Aaaand, it was my first time using Adobe Premiere Pro. When I first opened the program I was like, 'Whoa, I hope this won't eat me whole." Noob. >_>

But thanks to the videos online, I pretty much learned the basics...soooo here it is:



Thursday, September 23, 2010

When I was Bitter

You said that people change
Uncontrollably and out of range
Never thought it could come true
Until it happened to you

I woke up one bright morning
Alone and left with nothing
No more pictures lined on the wall
And you never answered my call

I found myself alone and thinking
Why everything didn't end up working
Am I not good enough for you?
My cooking not as good as your mom's stew?

I laughed bitter and cold
Hardly because I choked
Then realized that this cherry coke
Is better than you, ole' bloke.

~~

I find it really funny now.

"Comedy is tragedy plus time." -Carol Burnett

Friday, September 17, 2010

Us

I can't stop smiling. :D

God has a way of cheering me up when I'm about to go someplace hated. Also, I felt how good 'real' is.

Sooooo
There was this guy at the bus. He was busy listening to his music while I caught my breath (ran a bit to catch the bus). And then I noticed how long his hair was, tied up behind him. My eyes went *_*

Not only that, he was also really cute so I sat beside him. :)

I didn't know if I pretended to be asleep or if I really was. All I know was that I liked the feeling of resting my head on his shoulder. It was cold, but he was so warm. And we were so close as if I had known him for so long. He didn't mind. Once or twice I looked up and saw his eyes closed. I was sure he wasn't sleeping, maybe like me, he also pretended.

And this song played while I tried to sleep, contented.


They made a statue of us
And it put it on a mountain top
Now tourists come and stare at us
Blow bubbles with their gum
Take photographs have fun, have fun

They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
Because they've got years of experience
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

We wear our scarves just like a noose
But not 'cause we want eternal sleep
And though our parts are slightly used
New ones are slave labor you can keep

We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
The tourists come and stare at us
The sculptor's marble sends regards
They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
Our noses have begun to rust
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
Were living in a den of thieves

And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

They don't come near me

But they come near Mads

I also want to see
One of my most liked fads

This guy with his girl
Having a footspa in a salon
His long hair entangled in a twirl
On her fingers alone

He told a corny joke
That his girl ignored
In his laughter he almost choked
But the girl was all bored

He cupped her face
Pulled her close
His lips on hers traced
Their mouths in a long prose

She wasn't even pretty
And she's got a guy like that
I was green with envy
I wanna hit her with a bat

Mads and I are jealous
Lola doesn't care
Cause she doesn't like boys
Why do I always lose?
It's not fair. :(


~~~
For Mads who just got a pretty haircut and who also told me the story that inspired this frustration. lol
And also Lola for not going all 'Awwwwwwwwwwwww, shall we burn the bitch?'

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

There is a light that never goes out

(This is a post-blog in the previous one I had posted)


So I told you I was all happy and all. It ended when I got to go somewhere errrr. (It's just kinda' funny how the happy stuff flies out when you're nearing an inevitable negativity) . So I was trying to cheer myself up, cause I just generally hate weekends. Maybe you'll find that weird, but yea, I enjoy being in school more. While walking home, I tried to put thoughts of how my weekends suck away and sang this song. Just as I was singing, 'don't care, don't care, don't ca--' I was cut off BECAUSE I TRIPPED AND CRASHED ON THE SIDEWALK.

I hit my knee and it took some time before I stood up after losing my balance cause I was boggled and my knees hurt like f*ck. I bet I was red with tomatoes but I didn't care, all I thought about that time was, NEGATIVITY BEGINS, HAPPINESS GOES BYE BYE.

(you can see how much annoyed I am with all the capitals. ;D)

Oh looook at Paulo Coelho's tweet: Instead of preaching the importance of happiness, be happy and people will follow your example.

He tells me I should be happy. But not here, no, I can't. :( Maybe when I'm finally somewhere better.

Geez, I'm easily distracted. Anyway, it sucks how abrupt my good feelings stopped. But I really hope I'll get it back again soon. And I love this song even if I tripped while listening to it. Oh note: Be careful yourself while listening. Ha! ;D

This part rings a bell: Driving in your car, oh please don't drop me home because it's not my home, it's their home.

You know, if we're just together, and if we're just so in love, everything would be bearable. I wouldn't even notice the negativity, I wouldn't care about how home sucks. Cause I have you and that's all that would ever matter.



Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
Who are young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people
And I want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their home
And I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
But then a strange fear gripped me
And I just couldn't ask

Take me out tonight
Oh take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
No, I haven't got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes in to us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Please, please, please let me get what I want

I dreamt of you last night. It was awesome. I think it's because of too much thoughts of what I'll do when I'd be lucky and get the internship in Washington. Anyway, it was cloudy, perfect weather. You and I are walking towards home. You held me so tight I swear I knew how sturdy you are, and how sexy you smelled like. We were laughing. I tipped your head to face me, my nose almost touching your smile. Your breath smelled of mint, I pulled you down and you kissed me.


When we got home. We went to sleep and you held me all night.

All day in school I was smiling. My friends thought I was crazy. On my way home, I played this song on repeat. I wished I'd dream about you again. But I wished more that someday soon it'll come true. Cause you just don't know how much I like you. :)



Good times for a change
See the luck I've had
Could make a good man turn bad

So please, please, please
Let me, let me, let me
Get what I want this time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See the life I've had
Could make a good man turn bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time

Lord knows it would be the first time

So please, please, please
Let me, let me, let me
Get what I want this time

Lord knows it would be the first time

Monday, September 6, 2010

Can't Stand It

This song is just so you! Do you know that? I really can't stand you and everything you do because it's so cute. :\


The simple things you do for me makes me really happy, I wanted to cry because of too much appreciation. You never ignored me and my requests/favors/wants. Well, the last one is ehhhh but still, you're always there for me.

I don't know if you'll know I'm talking about you if you read this. I'm starting to have this feeling that you're oblivious, insensitive and you sometimes can't be arsed...but maybe I'm wrong after all. Well, who knows? If you get this inkling, and the signs I'm sending, grats. :P

I don't have to tell anything now, do I? You already know what I feel after all.


Baby, I love you
I never want to let you go
The more I think about,
The more I want to let you know…
That everything you do,
Is super fucking cute
And I can’t stand it

I’ve been searching for
A girl that’s just like you
Cause I know
That your heart is true

Baby, I love you
I never want to let you go
The more I think about,
The more I want to let you know…
That everything you do,
Is super duper cute
And I can’t stand it

Let’s forget,
And run away
To sail the ocean blue
Then you’ll know,
That my heart is true

Baby, I love you
I never want to let you go
The more I think about,
The more I want to let you know…
That everything you do,
Is super duper cute
And I can’t stand it

You, you got me where you want me
Cause I’ll do anything to please you
Just to make it through…
Another year

You, I saw you across the room
And I knew that this is gonna
Blossom into something beautiful.
You’re beautiful.

Baby, I love you
I never want to let you go
The more I think about,
The more I want to let you know…
That everything you do,
Is super duper cute
And I can’t stand it
No I can’t stand it
No I can’t stand it

Friday, September 3, 2010

A Little Piece of Heaven

The ending of my short story made me feel sick. That actually wasn't my intention but I desperately wanted to finish it because I have stalled too much. I actually started writing early or late January, and finished it September. That was when I was too inspiringly mean to my bestie Lola. XD

View story here.

Dear Lola, I didn't really mean to end it that way but you hated the story from the very beginning, sooo, I suppose you won't care. Haha. You hated Douglas having a perfect life and falling in love with Lola, either way you'd feel the same. ;D


Anyway, I think reading too much Stephen King did this to me. But don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved 'Everything's Eventual'.


And this song reminds me of the ending, same way as Mads did. WARNING: Video contains explicit material. hurrr




Before the story begins, is it such a sin,
for me to take what's mine, until the end of time
We were more than friends, before the story ends,
And I will take what's mine, create what
God would never design

Our love had been so strong for far too long,
I was weak with fear that
something would go wrong,
before the possibilities came true,
I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears,(hahaha)
conjuring her deepest fears
(come here you fucking bitch)

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times,
I can't believe it,
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes,
Eyes over easy, eat it eat it eat it

She was never this good in bed
even when she was sleepin'
now she's just so perfect I've
never been quite so fucking deep in
it goes on and on and on,
I can keep you lookin' young and preserved forever,
with a fountain to spray on your youth whenever

’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
’cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
let's make a new start
’cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
but baby don't cry

Now possibilities I'd never considered,
are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard,
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave,
to repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved

Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears

Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times
I can't believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes
Eyes over easy
Eat it eat it eat it

Now that it's done I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave

I gotta make up for what I've done
’Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
while you burned in hell, no peace forever

’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, We fell apart
Let’s make a new start
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I'll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I’ll grant you a chance)
And if it's not enough
(If it’s not enough, If it’s not enough)
If it's not enough
(Not enough)
Try again
(Try again)
And again
(And again)
Over and over again
(Over and over again)
We’re coming back, coming back
We’ll live forever, live forever
Let’s have a wedding, have a wedding
Let’s start the killing, start the killing

Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?
(Yes, I do.)
Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life?
(I do.)
I now pronounce you...

’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let’s make a new start
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Butchered Tale of Lola Lopez and Douglas Pt. 3 (finale)

Lola opened her eyes with chest thundering. She planned to pretend that she passed out but felt that the floor was too cold and hard. She quickly scampered towards the far corner of the room, burying herself under the huge empty fish crates. Color left her face not because she was scared of what might happen to her but because the smell of rotten fish filled her nose, it was almost impossible to breathe. She went back where she bonked her head before and started to think.

Nothing.

She clinched that it was probably because of her fall but she quickly realized that she felt no difference; her mind was always like that. She sighed, concentrated, and did the yoga pose. She heard the loud motor of the yacht, the squeals of seagulls and the angry grumble of her tummy. After a minute of calming enlightenment, she came up with a list of plans:

1. Shoot seagulls, too noisy, can’t concentrate
2. Eat seagulls, too hungry, can’t think
3. Sucks aiming at flying things
4. Shoot Douglas instead
5. Eat Douglas
6. Find gun
7. (looked around) No gun
8. Whack with baseball bat
9. (looked around) No bat
10. Can’t…think…need…food

She whimpered, her tummy ached of need.

Lola didn’t know that behind the doors where she put her weight, Douglas was listening, also aching with need. He thought that Lola’s moans sounded lovely. If only he was the cause of those sweet moans…

'Coitus!' He cursed, gritting his teeth.

He unzipped his pants. Lola looked like a Barbie doll. Actually, she was the epitome of a gorgeous doll, a reality, something he always wanted but would never get. Douglas had a fetish for dolls, and though Lola was real, he thought that liking her started to make him grow up. His mother who thought that he was a worthless piece of shit always told him to grow up and get a life, but he just loved Barbie’s legs that he couldn’t move on. But his mother wouldn’t know about this anymore. She was after all, one of his dolls.

One night he was desperate for love, but there were no Barbies around where his car broke down. He saw an old gasoline station and an old house next to it. He saw a doll inside the house when he went looking for food, but it was a baby doll. He grabbed the baby and thought that was enough to satisfy his need. It was still a doll, he thought.

What he did was what a pedophile does, he realized. He felt sick and ashamed of himself, and murdered the baby doll. When he finished dismembering it, the eyes were still blinking, it drove him crazy that he kept stabbing.

That was when he saw Lola watching him. She looked like a goddess under the moonlight. That was also when he realized he wanted her so badly.

'Uhhhrrrmmm-uhhh ohhhh.' Lola moaned.

Douglas pressed his ear closer against the cold metal door and whispered to himself, 'Oh my Einstein! Why must Lola subsist as a blistering, burning at boiling point amatory beast of a woman?'

Hands now inside his pants, he closed his eyes, and his mouth watered as he imagined all the things he would do with Lola, given the chance.

Just as he was about to reach the zenith of pleasure, Lola stopped moaning. She stopped making any sound at all. Like a flower not watered for a week, what Douglas held wilted. He was in the verge of crying, but stopped himself and knocked.

'Are you still prevailing?' No answer.

'Lola?' Still no answer.

Douglas backed away several meters, his face that of a charging rhino. He then raced towards the door at full speed, his shoulders aimed against it. The door swiftly opened, it wasn’t locked after all. Still, he hit something blocking the door before it banged on the wall. A painful shriek was heard, and then everything was silent again.

Stepping inside, Douglas saw Lola lying face down a few steps away from the door, her limbs twisted in a funny manner, and her hair all over. He felt his throat tighten as he slowly walked towards Lola’s pallid body. He gathered her into his arms and consoled her hoping to hear her say something. When she didn’t, he broke into tears. Crying over her chest, he felt weird in a good way. He thought of crying more so that his tears would soak her clothes making it possible to take a peek on what was underneath. When he caught himself with those horrible thoughts, he pinched himself and wailed.

After a few moments, Douglas felt a hard tug on his hair. It was so painful that he dropped Lola’s body. Looking down on her, he saw that her bloodshot eyes were wide open, and her lips purple. She was so white, except for the dark red blood flowing down her nostril.

Douglas backed away shaking with fear. Lola came back from the underworld to haunt him, she might also try to kill him like what his mother tried to do, he thought.

'You stupid bastard.' Lola hissed.

'Don’t loom in my proximity!' Douglas’ voice came out jagged.

'I’m so hungry I could just tear a piece of you off.' Lola was mad with hunger, not to mention that it was his fault why her head felt like splitting.

Lola stood up wavering, she leaned on the wall near the stinking crates. Douglas was shaking like crazy, his face looked agitated and petrified. She wondered what was wrong with him, but realized he was scared because he thought she was back from the dead. She laughed at the idea of scaring him and felt proud for forming a way of escape.

'Graaaggrrrghh!' Lola roared gutturally. Raising her arms slightly overhead, she sauntered towards him.

Douglas shrieked like a woman. Grabbing a pipe lying on the floor, he struck Lola on her side which made her kneel and squirm in pain. 'What’s wrong with you?' She shouted angrily.

He held the pipe tightly with both hands and swung once more, hitting Lola on the head. It was so forceful that she fell on the floor, unable to perceive what was happening. Before her mind closed in on her, she felt warm liquid dripping down her forehead, into her lashes and down her cheeks. She was momentarily blinded, but was able to see Douglas' evil grin as he continued beating her with the bloody pipe. She also heard him repeatedly say, ‘you’re gonna be my doll.’


It ends here

Douglas rocked his chair back and forth, smiling contentedly as he blew smoke. He reached towards the chair next to him where his lovely wife sat. His hand slowly encased hers, carefully, as not to tear off the fragile skin. He caressed her still face, all beautiful and preserved. He traced her smile, and thought that this was the most beautiful thing he had created, well, apart from his mom. His hand slid down her cold neck and before he knew it, he was carrying her back to bed.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Quelqu'un m'a dit

I find this song really calming, and I just can't stop listening to it even if I didn't understand a thing. Relating to it was very easy for me though. It's like my life right now: it couldn't be understood but it goes well.

Sometimes I think how my life sucks, but I realized while listening to this song that it's exactly like that. I can't understand how or where it will go, but I enjoy living it.

Cheers to me for being optimistic on my 20th.
Yes, it's today. :)




On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand chose,
Elles passent en un instant comme fanent les roses.
On me dit que le temps qui glisse est un salaud
que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux
pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

Refrain

Que tu m'aimais encore,
C'est quelqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore.
Serais ce possible alors ?

On me dit que le destin se moque bien de nous
Qu'il ne nous donne rien et qu'il nous promet tout
Parais qu'le bonheur est à portée de main,
Alors on tend la main et on se retrouve fou
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit ...

Refrain

Mais qui est ce qui m'a dit que toujours tu m'aimais?
Je ne me souviens plus c'était tard dans la nuit,
J'entend encore la voix, mais je ne vois plus les traits
"Il vous aime, c'est secret, lui dites pas que j'vous l'ai dit"
Tu vois quelqu'un m'a dit...

Que tu m'aimais encore, me l'a t'on vraiment dit...
Que tu m'aimais encore, serais ce possible alors ?

(I preferred to post the original language, but if you want to find out what the lyrics mean, go to this site: http://lyricstranslate.com/en/Quelqu%E2%80%99un-M%E2%80%99-Dit-Quelqu%E2%80%99un-M%E2%80%99-Dit.html)