Somewhere only we know

You're adorable, you're not

I like you, I don't

You're cute, you're wasted

You're kind, you're mean

I miss you, I don't

You're the apple, I'm Eve

Is love supposed to act this way? Unsure, and ever-changing? Maybe it's not really what I thought it was. But I loved how I started my day smiling at everyone like a madwoman. You did that to me. I loved the way I came in class and all my friends stared at me quizzically. And all I told them when they asked me what was up with my crazy sweet smile was, "I'm in love." I felt good when I said it, even though I really don't know if I am or it's just some phase.

Whatever it was, I hope one day I'd be sure, so we could go together somewhere only we know.

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

Oh, this could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know

Ashes and Wine

When playing this song, a lot of things spark in my head like tiny bulbs so bright they blind and bring tears.

In the four minute song, this is what I had thought of:

New in Journalism school. Ian McMichan. Playlist.com. Out of place. Braces. DJ Murtaugh. Internet addiction. Guitar. Braces. Short ruffled hair. My favorite striped orange shirt. Nerd. Compaq laptop. Surfing. Hate school. Lost. Rejection. Desperation. Drunk. Sense of unbelongingness. Daddy. Angst. Late night neoseeking. Fabric conditioner. Too much rain. Broken heart.

It reminds me of November 2008.

When I had just turned 18 and life was lonely. Not that it isn't now, it is, still. But before was worse, as I had no concrete idea on what I'd do with my life. I was unloved. I was that new girl people should ignore. I was that poor girl people should pity on. I was that plain girl who would always go unnoticed. And I was that desperate girl who was told several times that she deserved better, but she knows it was a damn lame excuse of the guy she thought she loved.

Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
And I'll drown in my tears, don't they see?
And that would show you, that would make you hurt like me

All the same I don't want mudslinging games
It's just a shame to let you walk away

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This days are spinning circus on a wheel
And I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out, I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down, no

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

And I'll tear myself away
So if it?s that is what you need, there is nothing left to say but

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?

Captured

I was crying okay? There were tears. It wasn't visible though. >_>

Video project for Photo and Video Journalism. Had so much fun filming it with my buds Mads, Lola, and John and later on editing it with Mads at home.

Also, thanks to the people who helped us. If they're reading this, they would know who they are. :P

This was our very first time doing this, we were new in using the camera and we weren't listening during the discussion so we didn't know how to tinker with the white balance. :\ Aaaand, it was my first time using Adobe Premiere Pro. When I first opened the program I was like, 'Whoa, I hope this won't eat me whole." Noob. >_>

But thanks to the videos online, I pretty much learned the basics...soooo here it is:

When I was Bitter

You said that people change
Uncontrollably and out of range
Never thought it could come true
Until it happened to you

I woke up one bright morning
Alone and left with nothing
No more pictures lined on the wall
And you never answered my call

I found myself alone and thinking
Why everything didn't end up working
Am I not good enough for you?
My cooking not as good as your mom's stew?

I laughed bitter and cold
Hardly because I choked
Then realized that this cherry coke
Is better than you, ole' bloke.

~~

I find it really funny now.

"Comedy is tragedy plus time." -Carol Burnett

Us

I can't stop smiling. :D

God has a way of cheering me up when I'm about to go someplace hated. Also, I felt how good 'real' is.

Sooooo

There was this guy at the bus. He was busy listening to his music while I caught my breath (ran a bit to catch the bus). And then I noticed how long his hair was, tied up behind him. My eyes went *_*

Not only that, he was also really cute so I sat beside him. :)

I didn't know if I pretended to be asleep or if I really was. All I know was that I liked the feeling of resting my head on his shoulder. It was cold, but he was so warm. And we were so close as if I had known him for so long. He didn't mind. Once or twice I looked up and saw his eyes closed. I was sure he wasn't sleeping, maybe like me, he also pretended.

And this song played while I tried to sleep, contented.

They made a statue of us
And it put it on a mountain top
Now tourists come and stare at us
Blow bubbles with their gum
Take photographs have fun, have fun

They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
Because they've got years of experience
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

We wear our scarves just like a noose
But not 'cause we want eternal sleep
And though our parts are slightly used
New ones are slave labor you can keep

We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
The tourists come and stare at us
The sculptor's marble sends regards
They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
Our noses have begun to rust
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
Were living in a den of thieves

And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

They don't come near me

But they come near Mads

I also want to see

One of my most liked fads

This guy with his girl

Having a footspa in a salon

His long hair entangled in a twirl

On her fingers alone

He told a corny joke

That his girl ignored

In his laughter he almost choked

But the girl was all bored

He cupped her face

Pulled her close

His lips on hers traced

Their mouths in a long prose

She wasn't even pretty

And she's got a guy like that

I was green with envy

I wanna hit her with a bat

Mads and I are jealous

Lola doesn't care

Cause she doesn't like boys

Why do I always lose?

It's not fair. :(

~~~

For Mads who just got a pretty haircut and who also told me the story that inspired this frustration. lol

And also Lola for not going all 'Awwwwwwwwwwwww, shall we burn the bitch?'

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

There is a light that never goes out

(This is a post-blog in the previous one I had posted)

So I told you I was all happy and all. It ended when I got to go somewhere errrr. (It's just kinda' funny how the happy stuff flies out when you're nearing an inevitable negativity) . So I was trying to cheer myself up, cause I just generally hate weekends. Maybe you'll find that weird, but yea, I enjoy being in school more. While walking home, I tried to put thoughts of how my weekends suck away and sang this song. Just as I was singing, 'don't care, don't care, don't ca--' I was cut off BECAUSE I TRIPPED AND CRASHED ON THE SIDEWALK.

I hit my knee and it took some time before I stood up after losing my balance cause I was boggled and my knees hurt like f*ck. I bet I was red with tomatoes but I didn't care, all I thought about that time was, NEGATIVITY BEGINS, HAPPINESS GOES BYE BYE.

(you can see how much annoyed I am with all the capitals. ;D)

Oh looook at Paulo Coelho's tweet: Instead of preaching the importance of happiness, be happy and people will follow your example.

He tells me I should be happy. But not here, no, I can't. :( Maybe when I'm finally somewhere better.

Geez, I'm easily distracted. Anyway, it sucks how abrupt my good feelings stopped. But I really hope I'll get it back again soon. And I love this song even if I tripped while listening to it. Oh note: Be careful yourself while listening. Ha! ;D

This part rings a bell: Driving in your car, oh please don't drop me home because it's not my home, it's their home.

You know, if we're just together, and if we're just so in love, everything would be bearable. I wouldn't even notice the negativity, I wouldn't care about how home sucks. Cause I have you and that's all that would ever matter.

Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
Who are young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people
And I want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their home
And I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
But then a strange fear gripped me
And I just couldn't ask

Take me out tonight
Oh take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
No, I haven't got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes in to us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out