I'm sorry I've been difficult lately. It's just that I'm not feeling like myself at all. I feel so lonely staying in a place I'd rather not be. I know you want to try and make me feel better, but there's nothing you can do babes. Maybe I'll just wait til I get over it, or get used to wherever I am and hope that in due time I can be completely happy.
I'm sorry I've been messing with your feelings. It's my ill humor working to amuse me. I know it's unfair for you but I'm weird like that. I don't know why you love me. I'm not talking to you right now and it's still alright for you. You just said you'll sit back and watch me, although, I can see that you're not really watching me. I wonder what you're doing. But I don't want to ask. I'll just sit here until it's 11 pm and it's time for bed.
I love you, but I wonder if we can keep this up. What if everyday is like this? Won't we get tired eventually? You're being really patient right now. But I wonder if it would last long. And I wonder if I can be patient like you.
Also, I wonder what would happen if you suddenly change, how I'll take it in and cope with it. I wonder too much. I should stop.
So I was reminded of the stuff I used to post. It's fun to look back and see what I was listening to and how I've felt.
I went to a beach called Boracay and stayed there for four days. It was really rainy and the waves were fierce. Still, we did some water activities and we even went island hopping. I kept imagining the boat would sink and I'd be washed away somewhere. While my imagination was at work, this song kept playing in my head.
I'm just a normal boy That sank when I fell overboard My ship would leave the country But I'd rather swim ashore
Without a life vest I'd be stuck again Wish I was much more masculine Maybe then I could learn to swim Like 'fourteen miles away'
Now floating up and down I spin, colliding into sound Like whales beneath me diving down I'm sinking to the bottom of my Everything that freaks me out The lighthouse beam has just run out I'm cold as cold as cold can be Be
I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm fallin' in the ocean Let the waves up take me down Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down Let the rain come down
Where is the coastguard I keep looking each direction For a spotlight, give me something I need something for protection Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine The jetsam sunk, I'm left behind I'm treading for my life believe me (How can I keep up this breathing)
Not knowing how to think I scream aloud, begin to sink My legs and arms are broken down With envy for the solid ground I'm reaching for the life within me How can one man stop his ending I thought of just your face Relaxed, and floated into space
I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm fallin' in the ocean Let the waves up take me down Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down Let the rain come down
Now waking to the sun I calculate what I had done Like jumping from the bow, yeah Just to prove that I knew how, yeah It's midnight's late reminder of The loss of her, the one I love My will to quickly end it all Sat front row in my need to fall
Into the ocean, end it all Into the ocean, end it all Into the ocean, end it all Into the ocean, end it all
[Zayra] Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean Let the waves up take me down Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down Let the rain come down
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) (In to space) Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye) I thought of just your face
