Somewhere only we know

You're adorable, you're not

I like you, I don't

You're cute, you're wasted

You're kind, you're mean

I miss you, I don't

You're the apple, I'm Eve

Is love supposed to act this way? Unsure, and ever-changing? Maybe it's not really what I thought it was. But I loved how I started my day smiling at everyone like a madwoman. You did that to me. I loved the way I came in class and all my friends stared at me quizzically. And all I told them when they asked me what was up with my crazy sweet smile was, "I'm in love." I felt good when I said it, even though I really don't know if I am or it's just some phase.

Whatever it was, I hope one day I'd be sure, so we could go together somewhere only we know.

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

Oh, this could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know

Ashes and Wine

When playing this song, a lot of things spark in my head like tiny bulbs so bright they blind and bring tears.

In the four minute song, this is what I had thought of:

New in Journalism school. Ian McMichan. Playlist.com. Out of place. Braces. DJ Murtaugh. Internet addiction. Guitar. Braces. Short ruffled hair. My favorite striped orange shirt. Nerd. Compaq laptop. Surfing. Hate school. Lost. Rejection. Desperation. Drunk. Sense of unbelongingness. Daddy. Angst. Late night neoseeking. Fabric conditioner. Too much rain. Broken heart.

It reminds me of November 2008.

When I had just turned 18 and life was lonely. Not that it isn't now, it is, still. But before was worse, as I had no concrete idea on what I'd do with my life. I was unloved. I was that new girl people should ignore. I was that poor girl people should pity on. I was that plain girl who would always go unnoticed. And I was that desperate girl who was told several times that she deserved better, but she knows it was a damn lame excuse of the guy she thought she loved.

Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
And I'll drown in my tears, don't they see?
And that would show you, that would make you hurt like me

All the same I don't want mudslinging games
It's just a shame to let you walk away

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This days are spinning circus on a wheel
And I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out, I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down, no

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

And I'll tear myself away
So if it?s that is what you need, there is nothing left to say but

Is there a chance, a fragment of light
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?